It turns out patience pays off. In my last post, I wrote about how I was trying to be patient with things with Josh. A few days after I wrote that post, Josh and I went out on another date. At the end of the date, I went to his place to hang out and we ended up having the "DTR" talk. More on that in a minute.
Rewind a few days. I had gone to the zoo with him and his girls about a week before and that outing left me very confused about what we were. We had gone out a couple of times but he hadn't shown any outward interest, and then all of a sudden I was meeting his kids. Well, it turns out that day was a "test" - a test to see how I fit in and how the girls acted around me and thought of me. It could not have gone better. The day felt fun and comfortable and he told me his girls (especially his youngest who is pretty shy around new people) were completely themselves around me. It was also a pivotal day for me as well, which I didn't realize until afterwards. Meeting his kids that he talked about so much and seeing him in "dad" mode calmed a lot of my fears and hesitations. He's a great dad and I can see a lot of his amazing character when he's with his kids. The fact that the day felt so comfortable and fun also made me realize that I want a family and am ready for a family...and I need to break down any expectations of how that might play out.
Okay...fast forward to the DTR date. Josh told me that he invited me to meet his kids because they are his life and if he's with someone, it's important that she fit who they are as a family and that his kids are comfortable with her. He said he saw a side of his youngest daughter at the zoo that only comes out when she's with family (never with people she doesn't know) and then on the drive home, she asked when I was coming back. He said that day was so important for him and it confirmed that he wants to pursue a relationship with me. I told him all about how I was hesitant at first about the fact that he has kids but how those fears were calmed after I met them at the zoo. We talked into the wee hours of the morning (on a school night...oops!) and it was like a wall just crumbled between us. As soon as we brought it all out in the open, there was no question anymore of how we each felt.
The last 3 weeks have been a whirlwind of late nights, hours of getting to know each other on a deeper level, and fun times with friends, family, and the girls. It has been the best 3 weeks and things only keep getting better the more we get to know each other and the more the girls and I get to know each other. I never want time with him to end.
In the last week or so, we've had the difficult but good talk about everything that happened in his divorce, struggles he's had in the past, and struggles I've had in the past. If I hadn't already thought things just felt right between us, I certainly did after that conversation. I'm just continually blown away at God's grace and perfect timing in each of our lives. We would not have been good for each other even a year ago. And not only that, but it is amazing how God is using things we've each struggled with to bring us closer to each other and relate to each other. Darkness in my past is now turning out to be something God is using to bring life to our relationship. I have no words for how amazed I am at how God works.
For so long, I didn't believe that there were any decent men out there that met my expectations and I didn't trust that God could provide the kind of man I truly longed for. I kept hearing people tell me to be patient, that patience pays off in the end, and that God will provide in the way He sees is good for me and that it will be better than anything I can imagine. Every time I heard something like that, I just rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, yeah, I know." I never really believed it to be true...until now.
