I have always had a hard time with finding motivation to do things that don't seem so fun. It's easy for me to think of things in my life that I want to change, but finding the motivation to work on changing them and sticking to it is hard. I can't imagine I'm the only one who struggles with this.

I've been thinking about some things that I'd ideally like to change...

1. Get into a regular workout routine.

Last summer, I was really good about running at least 3-5 times a week. Once school started, it was squelched pretty quickly. It is so hard to find the energy to go to the gym after work...I don't feel like I work any harder at Lincoln, but for some reason I feel absolutely exhausted after work each day. So, I'm hoping to get into a good routine...maybe bringing workout clothes with me and going straight from work to the gym.

2. Eat better.

Lately, I've been really unhappy with how my body has gotten. I am the heaviest I've ever been and it makes me feel disgusting. I try to make healthier choices, but it hasn't been a huge priority yet.

3. Make God a bigger priority.

The book that I'm reading with Angela has challenged me to make God a bigger priority in my life. One quote in the book really struck me..."don't try to build Me into your life anymore. Instead, build your life around Me." I want to know what that looks like. I want to figure out what that can be in my life.

4. Focus on loving others more than myself.

Recently, I've realized that I can be very selfish, especially when I'm with my family. I want to get into the habit of letting go of myself and being more loving to others.

I'm sure I'll be able to think of more, but this is a start. I'm hoping I'll be able to think of specific steps and things I can do daily to help me make these things a reality. Ask me about these things...I'm going to need accountability.

You would think that summer would make it easier to post, but I've been terrible about keeping this up-to-date!

Angela and I decided to start a little "book club" this summer that will hopefully continue after the summer. For this first round, we decided to read the same book and discuss it after each chunk we read. She and I have mentioned feeling a little spiritually dry and struggling in the same ways recently, so I felt like this would be a good step to take. It allows us to hold each other accountable to spending time with God as we read this book and hopefully learn something at the same time. The first book we're reading is called When God Writes Your Love Story, which is obviously about relationships. We've only read the first few chapters, but so far it's really good. I feel like this is something I need to focus on right now...making God first and not worrying about relationships...or lack thereof. Yesterday marked the beginning of the crazy amount of weddings I'm going to this summer. It was an exciting wedding, but weddings are hard. It's just another reminder that I'm single. I see how happy the couple is and it just makes my heart literally hurt that I haven't experienced that yet. But this book is going to be good...I think it'll help keep me in perspective and encourage my heart.

Speaking of relationships (sort of), I had to decide who I wanted to invite as my date to my brother's wedding. When Mike and I were seeing each other, we talked a couple of times about going together. Since then, things have obviously changed and I wasn't sure if he was still wanting/willing to go (as friends, of course). I thought it would still be fun to take him because we have a lot of fun together and I'm determined to not go to my brother's wedding alone. So, I decided to ask him about it...except he's been spending a lot of time with Katie lately and I didn't want him going to my brother's wedding to cause drama. I already feel like Katie doesn't really like me or doesn't like that Mike and I are friends, and I didn't need to give her more reason to be mad. So I asked Mike if he still wanted to go, but I told him that if there's anything between him and Katie, I didn't want him going to the wedding to be a problem. His response was that he was going to ask her about it. At first I was going to let him, but after thinking about it and talking to a couple friends about it, I didn't feel right. I ended up telling him that if he's that involved with Katie and had to ask her permission to go, he probably shouldn't be going with me. He agreed. It was kind of a hard conversation to have. Part of me felt a little hurt because he's basically choosing someone else over me...the "other girl" won. And it's not that I even want to date him anymore....but as a girl, it's hard to let someone go like that and realize that he doesn't like you anymore. I'm especially frustrated because he told me he wasn't in a place to date anyone...but now he's seeing someone to the point where he has to ask her if he can hang out with me. I feel lied to. I feel like he's either afraid of commitment or he just didn't like me enough to pursue a relationship with me but he likes Katie enough to. All the more reason why I need to keep reading this book! Thank goodness for good girl friends...I'm taking Angela to my brother's wedding...way more fun than any stupid boy!!!

On one last note, my trip to Colorado with Jennifer is no longer. The cabin we were going to stay in isn't available in August, so we can't go. :( Sad day. I was looking forward to that trip...my one and only real vacation of the summer. But, maybe we can do it another time. I will conquer that mountain sometime in my life! :)