Wow, it's been a long time since I've written on here! This past school year was the hardest one I've ever had and it took a big toll on me. I ended the year not feeling like myself. I spent so much of the year in "mean teacher" mode, having to discipline so much bad behavior, and I think it just made me numb by the end of the year. I was worn down to the bone.
It's only been 4 days since summer break started and I'm already feeling so much better. I really needed this break. I was supposed to go to Kenya and planned on only teaching 4 weeks of summer school, so that gives me 3 weeks off before I have to start working again. I am going to enjoy every moment of those 3 weeks!!
Alright, boy update. To make a looong story short, I completely cut all ties with Josh. I wrote him an email telling him how I was feeling...it took FOREVER for us to finally meet to talk about it...the talk didn't go super great and I made the decision to tell him we couldn't be friends. Period. He didn't seem like the same guy I dated, so it actually hasn't been that hard to cut ties with him. He made me super frustrated during our conversation, so I was okay turning the page on that chapter of my life. You snooze, you lose buddy. Your loss.
So...a couple of weeks ago, my former classroom aide Kris (who is like my second mom) was hanging out with another retired teacher from Oregon, Terry, and they came up with the idea of setting me up with someone Terry knows. Kris retired at the end of this school year and at her retirement party, I talked to Terry and Kris about this guy a little more. He is Terry's nephew's best friend and joins all of their family functions because his family lives out of the state. She told me he is very religious and that's what made her think of me. So, I gave her my number to give to him and told her I'd be up for meeting him.
He (Artie, short for Aracelio -- pronounced "are-seal-ee-o") called me this past weekend and we met for the first time yesterday. We originally decided to just meet for coffee...but after 5 hours at Starbucks, we decided to make our way across the parking lot to a restaurant for dinner, where we proceeded to talk and hang out for another 6 hours. It didn't feel like 11 hours had gone by though. Conversation was incredibly easy and enjoyable. I honestly had zero expectations going into meeting him and even when we first met, I wasn't so sure. But as we kept talking and getting to know each other, I realized he is an incredibly nice, sweet, and kind-hearted guy. I'm blown away at how much he cares about people. He brought me flowers yesterday, paid for everything, and treated me like a princess. My mind was just racing the minute I went home...this guy is SO nice and has such a strong faith in God...there's gotta be a catch, right?? What's wrong with him that he's still single?? I hate to say "what's wrong with him" because people probably wonder the same thing about me. Anyway, he was going to go to my frisbee game tonight, but it was canceled due to weather, so we made plans to go to the movies. We grabbed coffee, saw the movie, and grabbed wine and some food at the Dane afterwards. I had a slight panic attack before seeing him tonight though. Maybe panic attack is too dramatic...freakout maybe? I keep telling myself that this guy can't be THIS nice. There has to be something I don't know about, right?? I also have thought about my relationship with Josh a bit since meeting Artie. I was SO sure Josh was the one, even after we broke up. Nothing in my life has ever felt so right...and yet it just all fell apart out of nowhere (or what seems like nowhere). I opened myself up to him more than anyone else I've dated, only to find myself heartbroken. Now, here's this new guy pursuing me...and I'm suddenly feeling terrified. How do I know it's not going to leave me heartbroken again? I'm finding myself more scared than ever to open myself up to this guy.
But then I think about the last 2 days with Artie. Not only has he treated me incredibly well, he is completely smitten with me. It baffles my mind. He keeps telling me how gorgeous and cool I am, and how much he likes me. I don't think I've ever had a guy THIS into me...it's kind of weird. Not that he's weird, but it's strange to me that someone would like me so much. I'm used to guys that maybe like me but don't express it much or that really like me for a while and then realize they can't date me for various reasons. I've never been called gorgeous in my life. Except maybe by my dad, but that doesn't count. He can't stop telling me what amazing eyes I have or how cute my smile is or how perfect my hands are. I love the compliments but I don't really know what to do with that. It's hard for me to comprehend. I like this guy...he's got so many amazing qualities and he's adorable. But I'm feeling scared, especially with how much he seems to like me. I'll probably say something to him soon, but in the meantime this is a really great chance for me to go to and trust in God. So if you're reading this and think of it, pray that my anxieties and fears would be calmed and that I would be able to fully put trust in God.
