Another Year Down

Another year has come and gone.  Man, it feels like these years go by faster and faster the older I get.

I'm sure I've said this before, but I love the New Year.  I love the idea of reflecting on the past year, thinking about lessons learned, things that went well and things that didn't, and making goals for the year to come.  A clean slate.  A fresh start.  It's refreshing.

Overall, 2013 was a great year.  Sure, I had hard times and heartache, but it's all been for good.  Here are a few highlights:

1.  I not only decided to get back into shape, but I stuck with it!  I signed up for a gym and a trainer, but gained so much more than muscle.  I learned how to eat better, how my body works, and workouts that will give me results.  More importantly, I gained a huge sense of accomplishment and realized that I am STRONG and can do so much more than I realize when I put my mind to it.  I gained a whole new sense of self, and now have the most positive self esteem I've had in my entire life.  It's a very welcome change to the way I used to view myself (think a lot of negative thoughts and comparison).

2.  I captained our frisbee team by myself this year, and we had a winning season!  It was the most fun I've had playing frisbee, and I made new friends along the way.  I also learned that I'm not a half-bad leader.

3.  I went overseas for the first time in my life.  It was such a scary step out of my comfort zone, but it was oh so good for me.  It was an incredible trip filled with new experiences, new friends (so many!!), uncertainty, new outlooks on the world, and lessons about me as a person.  I really struggled at certain points on the trip, mostly with feeling ineffective and wondering why I was there, but I learned so much about myself through that.  And now I have a special place in my heart for Africa - for its beauty and brokenness.  I saw and experienced so much brokenness and yet I feel like Africans are richer than we are in America.

4.  I had, yet another, relationship that ended.  Except this one was different.  I've really learned a lot from my relationship with Josh.  It's been almost a year since we first met and it's crazy to think about how I've changed because of him.  I don't know what 2014 holds for us (if anything), but I am so thankful that I know him and had the experiences I've had with him and his girls.  I've realized what I want in a relationship and I don't want to settle for anything less.  I've had glimpses of what it will be like to have a family and it's ignited an immense desire for a family of my own.  I've never had such a passion to be a wife or mother like I have now.  I've learned about myself as a partner in a relationship - ways I am strong and supportive, as well as things I do that I just need to not try to control on my own - and have had a glimpse at what a healthy relationship looks like.

5.  I've realized the importance of having deep, meaningful friendships.  I grew up as someone who was more of a "floater" and had a lot of acquaintances.  I've since been blessed with a lot of solid friendships, which have made me realize quality is far more valuable than quantity.  They've been a huge source of support this year and have helped me grow, laugh, cry, and smile.  We try to squeeze as much fun out of the stage of life we're in and it's been so much fun.  People tell me that I have a very fun life, and I tell them it's because I have such fun friends. :)

6.  Overall, I feel like I've really learned a lot about myself and who God has made me to be.  I've spent a lot of my life struggling with not liking who I am or even being unsure of who I really am.  I finally feel like I know who I am…and I finally like who I am.  Granted, there's still so much I can and want to work on, I've learned how to give myself grace, be okay with who I am, and trust God along this crazy path called life.

I don't really have many specific goals or resolutions for this new year.  I just want to continue on with what I learned and started in 2013 and see where God takes me.  I have little things here and there that I want to work on, but overall I'm just hopeful for what the new year will bring.