It's been kind of strange being back in Madison. Sometimes it feels like I'm just visiting (like I did when I lived here for a summer) and then I'll just head back to Milwaukee eventually. I'm going to Milwaukee next weekend for a concert and a wedding and just realized the other day that I have to actually find a place to stay. It's weird to think about.

The hardest part about being back is the community. I had such a great community here when I first lived here. Since then, my friends have either moved away or have gotten married. I feel like the new girl again. As an extrovert, it's hard sometimes. I don't have anyone to watch sports with (my roommates don't care for sports). I don't really feel like I have people I can call up to do something on a Saturday night. I joined a new life group here (bible study) but of course it's going to take some time before I feel connected to people. We're still in that awkward getting-to-know you phase. I tried texting one of my life group leaders, Nate, to see if he wanted to get a group of people together to watch the Brewers game (it happened to be the game we clinched the division...I had a feeling it would happen that night and I really wanted to see it)...I didn't hear back from him until after the game and instead, I listened to the game on the radio at home while doing schoolwork.

I just don't feel very connected right now. I sat by myself at church today feeling very alone. The few people I did recognize were there with their new spouse/significant other. Every time I move, this phase is always inevitable. I know it's going to take time to build up community again here. I think it's hard moving back to a city you once lived because I have so many good memories here with such good friends. It's hard being here without those people.

It's also made me miss the friends I have back in Milwaukee. I miss having people I could just call up to hang out on a random night. I miss having plans and things to do with people. Moving kind of shows you who your true friends are. There have been 2 instances already where people I know from Milwaukee have come to Madison for various reasons and didn't tell me or ask if I wanted to meet up with them. Is that what it's going to be like? I've already had people tell me Madison is "too far" to drive for whatever reason. That's hard for me to understand. I'm someone who is willing to go out of my way to see a friend. I guess we aren't all like that.

The extrovert in me is going crazy for some quality people time. "People time" at work doesn't count because it's just that...work. I have one roommate that is hardly ever here and that works an opposite schedule than me and another roommate who likes to keep to herself. I'm just praying that God brings along some solid connections for me here because I think I might otherwise go crazy. I'm tired of feeling like I'm doing life alone.