Last weekend, Miranda asked me what I liked about being back in Madison. My first response was the city itself...I love this city. Despite that though, I haven't done much to enjoy it since moving back. Sad day.

It was kind of a thought provoking question. I don't dislike living here. I've always loved Madison. But it's so different. I met my best friends in Madison. But, none of them live here anymore. The people I do still know are just acquaintances. I went to a Halloween party with some people from church this past Saturday. I knew a handful of people. It was fun to hang out and meet new people, but I was quickly reminded of how long I've been gone. Conversations with the people I did know only lasted a brief few minutes. After the general, surface-level questions, they quickly moved on to hanging out with people they were closer with. I tried to open up and have a good time, but it just didn't feel right. I was clearly the newbie outsider...and I felt like it. If I were in the same situation with friends from Milwaukee, that party would've been a blast.

I'm enjoying my Lifegroup through church and it's nice to have a small group of people to see every week. Sadly, the one person I've connected the most with is a guy (don't worry, not in a romantic way...I'm not attracted to him) who is moving back home to the East coast at the end of the month. It figures the one person I connect the most with and enjoy the most is leaving...it's pretty much the story of my life.

I don't know why I'm struggling with this so much. How many times have I moved in my life?? Almost too many to count. So I should know that transition always takes time. Why am I expecting community to happen instantly? Actually, I don't think that it was that I was expecting it to happen so quickly. I think it's just that I long for it so much. This in between transition time is so hard for me as an extrovert. It makes me miss my close friends all that much more.

I just wish I could speed up time...