A lot has happened in the last 4 days.
A little background to the last few days. In the spring of 2008, I went with Crusade to Florida for their annual spring break evangelism trip. I had already graduated, so I went as "pseudo-staff" to help out. A few students from UW-Platteville came with us...one of them being a guy named Mike. About a month and a half ago, I saw Mike at church here in Milwaukee. I didn't say hi to him because I didn't think he'd remember me. That night, he messaged me asking me if I had been at church because he saw me there, but wasn't sure if it was me because he thought I still lived in Madison. Then, about 2 1/2 weeks ago, I saw him at a friend's birthday party. This time I actually said hi to him and we quickly caught up on life for a few minutes. When he left the party later, he gave me his card and told me to call him if I ever wanted to grab coffee or something. I kind of thought this was interesting because we didn't really know each other very well, despite both going to Florida.
Last Saturday, I went with 8 other people from church on a day trip to Chicago. Mike was one of the people in the group. We spent the whole day catching up and getting to know each other. I noticed that he almost always sat next to me all day. He just overall seemed to be paying attention to me quite a bit...definitely more than most guys usually do. I tried not to think anything of it, but I definitely had questions and was curious if there was something there.
When I got home from the trip, I decided to send him a message to tell him that I really enjoyed reconnecting with him. I was very tempted to tell him to call me if he ever wanted to hang out, but chose not to so he could take the initiative if he really was interested. He responded the next day saying that a year a half is way too long to wait to see each other again. I told him that I'd love to hang out with him more often and that he could call or text me anytime.
The next day (last Monday), he texted me asking me what I was up to that night. I had plans that night, but told him that I was free the rest of the week (except Christmas, of course). We made plans to see each other Tuesday night.
We ended up planning to meet at a restaurant/bar called Mo's Irish Pub for Tuesday night trivia. It's something he does pretty regularly with his sister and some friends. When we got there, he was the only one from his team that had come. So, we played trivia by ourselves. We had such a good time. After trivia ended, we stayed for another hour or so just talking. By the end of the night, we had made plans to see each other again the next day.
Yesterday (Wednesday), he texted me asking if I wanted to come over to his place to help him bake banana bread. I went over at about 3:30 and I ended up hanging out with him until 1 am. Not long after I got to his place, he remembered that he had an appointment to see an apartment, so I went with him. When we got back, we baked the banana bread and played with his brother's puppy that he was puppysitting. After the bread was done, he made dinner for us. Then we went downtown to see the lights and hang out at the outdoor skating rink. We watched skaters fall and drank Starbucks. On Tuesday, our original plan was to see a movie at the budget theater, so since we didn't do that on Tuesday, we drove down on Wednesday to catch a late show. It had been snowing all day/evening, so we got there much later than expected and missed the movie. We decided to catch the last movie that was playing...which was Zombieland. Not really a "date" movie, but still fun. After the movie, we went back to his place and talked until I left at 1 am.
I have really enjoyed the last two days with Mike. I feel really comfortable around him and we have a good time together. He hasn't come out and expressed specific feelings for me, but he's acted like he's interested. He opens doors for me. He's paid for most of the things we've done together. He even said I would be a cute meteorologist when I told him that I considered that as a career option for a short amount of time. And the fact that he wanted to see me two days in a row leads me to believe he's interested.
I still get very nervous though. In the past, I've had guys back away after spending time with me and getting to know me more. Granted, I never went out on official dates with those guys...but they showed interest in me and then backed away. So much of me is excited about the last few days, but I'm also a little scared. I'm starting to really like this guy. But what if it doesn't work out? What if he stops pursuing me and initiating dates? I know there's the other side...what if it does work? But for some reason, my mind wants to dwell on the negative questions. I haven't dated anyone in almost 7 years and have had few (normal) guys show interest in me. I've struggled a lot with my self-worth and thinking that someone would be interested in me someday in the last few years. So it seems unbelievable to me that Mike is truly interested. I want to believe it, but I still struggle with thinking that there are prettier girls he could be interested in.
Nevertheless, it's happening and it's made me really trust God in this whole thing. When I came back from Chicago, I prayed for my heart, as well as for Mike. When I have an interest in someone, I pray for God's will to be done...if it's not His will for me to be with this person, I ask that He change my feelings. So far, my feelings for Mike have only grown. I need to continue to be in prayer about all of this. And I need to trust that God has my interests at heart and will take care of me. God can make anything happen...it's definitely possible that this could be the start of something big in my life. But if not, I still need to trust in God's bigger plan for me.
It's been hard not to get overly excited. My mind and heart want to run away into the future and what could be. I just keep praying that God will help me keep some perspective and carry me through this. I'll keep you guys updated! :)
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