For it is in giving that we receive...

During worship at church on Sunday, we read a prayer out loud as a congregation that really spoke to me. It goes something like this:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not
so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

I posted a week or so ago about being in Madison to help Jennifer (and Holly), and my fear of doing things to be noticed/loved/whatever. I fear having selfish motives. This prayer at church spoke to me because it talks about how we need to do things to make things better for others. Instead of focusing on ourselves and what we get out of certain situations, we need to focus on other people and how they are being affected. And in this, we will receive the love, understanding, consolation, etc. that we long for.

Sometimes when I'm down, I sit and dwell on how I'm feeling and sulk that I'm feeling that way. How is that going to change anything? If I want to feel loved by others, I need to be someone that others want to love. Rather than focusing on me, I need to focus on being someone who brings light to people (both friends and strangers)...someone who gives of themselves to help others...someone who loves unconditionally.

Jesus lived a hard life where he was often mistreated. Even though He is the God of the universe, He lived a life of persecution and serving on this Earth. Yet, when we read about Him, He never dwelled on how hard his life was, or sulked about how He was tired or being mistreated or didn't feel loved. He knew His Father loved Him and He came to the world to give that love to others. I should be doing the same. This life isn't about me. It's about spreading God's love to others. While pouring into others, they will in turn pour into me. God will provide the right people in my life to help me on this journey. But, I can't expect people to pour into me while I'm just sitting on my butt worrying about myself.

I often feel like I blend into the crowd and get lost in the shadows. What if I was someone who loved "out loud" more? I bet I wouldn't feel lost in the shadows as much...