Wow, God blows my mind. If you haven't heard yet, I got a job! I applied a couple weeks ago to a few teacher assistant positions in Wauwatosa, but honestly, didn't think much of it because I didn't have much hope. On Tuesday, I got a call about interviewing for one of these positions. I had to ask what positions they were because I'd applied to so many! I interviewed on Thursday, and it was probably one of the shortest interviews I've had...15 minutes. It went well and I felt pretty confident about it. Today, I got the call offering me the kindergarten teacher's aide position...the one I wanted the most. I start sometime next week, so I'll leave Madison on Sunday or Monday.
The last few months have been pretty hard. Fun...good...but hard. The Lord really worked on my heart this summer...once I actually slowed down enough to hear Him. It was hard to not lose heart and give up. I wanted to give up on trying to find a job because I didn't think there was anything that people would see in me that would set me apart from the others. I felt lonely despite being in the city I love living with my closest friends. But, over the last month or so, I've been slapped in the face by love (sound familiar Holly? :P) I have realized just how loved I am. The support I had when I had a job lead was incredible...I've never experienced so many people pulling for me and praying for me. I attempted to overcome a huge challenge (running) and have been successful (I went for a 25 minute run today and I was blown away by how much easier it's become)...and again, I have so many people encouraging me and telling me they're proud of me. And now I have a school that's excited to hire me...ME! The principal told me today that he was really impressed with my interview and how knowledgeable I am for a new teacher.
I've always known in my mind that God loves me and has my interests at heart. It's been something I've been told since childhood. But this summer, it was hard for me to believe it in my heart...truly believe it deep down. When the summer began, I had lost my job (a job I loved), was living at home again, and felt incredibly lonely. Yes, Jesus loves me...but I didn't understand why my life looked like it did. But, that's what it took for me to slow down, look up, and run into His arms. I neglected His strength and support last year...one of the hardest years of my life, and I didn't turn to Him. My heart became numb and I stopped feeling anything. I was so tired of feeling sad, defeated, tired, stressed...so I stopped feeling altogether. It took my life taking a u-turn for me to stop and realize I need Him.
I turned away from Him...and yet He still held my hand and led me to a better life. He was my last priority, but I was His first. He surrounded me with incredible friends this summer that never stop loving me for me. He whispered to me during church and helped me realize that I shouldn't give up on Him. And now He's blessed me with this great job opportunity.
The journey isn't over. In fact, a new one is just beginning. I'm heading back to Milwaukee and starting a completely new phase of my life. But, instead of going into it upset that I'm leaving something comfortable like I did last year, I'm going into it on the other side of an emotional and spiritual desert...refreshed and renewed.
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